The Scene: Amazon group sales/marketing meeting.
Date: late yesterday
Topic: E readers, Tablet, Ipad, Kindle, pricing, content purchasing loyalty.
Amzonian Uno: ....and of course, we could just keep promoting kindle with some "special" deals to high volume users, both real and potential, [PHONE RINGS IN MEETING ROOM, UNO TAKES THE CALL WHILE THE REMAINING GROUP MEMEBERS FEIGN INTEREST BUT ACTUALLY CONTINUE RECOVERING FROM WEEKEND HI JINXS] ........WHAT! You are shi.....um, kidding me! B and N basta...um, yea, yea, ok ok. {Hangs up phone while wipping spittle from his mouth, look at group members, stands up and says} Those B and N hot dogs are tanking the price point on the Nookie!! {Group members finally actually perk up, and internally some are wistfully thinking that actual nookie is for sale, while the remainder silently realize that, as usual, Uno has let his personal perspective seep into his speech} We cannot let this stand! WE ARE AMAZON DAMMIT! JEEEEEEZE, freeeeekin cover of TIME mag, potential retail world domination, we all know its about selling the content people! IDEAS?
Sub Amazonian: Perhaps faster wireless downloads? [Group members stifle visceral responses....}
Amazonian Uno: Perhaps you can get me a RED BULL right now ! Any real ideas people?? People?
Super Sub Amazonian: {Walking into meeting late from her other job at Apple Store} Heard about the B and N Nook price cut....finally time to cut to the chase and "IPOD" our approach?
Amazonian Uno: Yeah, nice of you to stop by. Busy day at the Genius Bar? {Group titters while surreptitiously continue to text on thier new iphones}
Super Sub Amazonian: The usual traffic, but mostly IPAD. Um anyway, arent we the first and foremost freakin' online bookseller? I mean, sale of digital content is where the big volume money is right? I mean, here we have this super good ereader with great potential to expand---Im talking KIndle DX people--and we are we seriously going to continue to sit back and jack buyers up for the current price of the our best ereader to date, so different from the rest of the puny smaller ereaders? I mean, are we seriously going to compete dollar to dollar DX to IPAD?
Lets IPOD this sucker!!! Ram the DX out the damn door at rock bottom margins, create disount deals on book package deals, create "book club" social networks on DX to create a DX oriented client/customer base! And we can glory in the growth of upgraded models of DX with an ever growing content sales base!
Amazonian Uno: I was thinking why not just go at the Nookie with a 10 dollar price undercut? {The group looks wide eyed as if stumbling upon an ereader price epiphany----when in actuality, its merely a RED BULL moment, and very little synaptic activity of any value occurs}
GROUP CHEER ERUPTS!
Amazonian Uno: We'll show B and N ! Nookie for no one!
GRUOP (EXCEPT FOR ONE PERSON OF INDETERMINATE ORGIN} FALLS INTO A DAZED AND QUIZZICAL POSTURE
Super Sub Amazonian: Right, well how did that work for us with the publisher's pricing war?
GROUP LOOKS CONFUSED AND STUNNED WHILE AMAZONIAN UNO APPEARS TO BE POURING A CLEAR LIQUID INTO HIS RED BULL...
Supersub Amazonian: Dammit people! Are we not the coolest, hippest, smartest, largest, userfriendliest, best online retailer and distibuter on the planet!! I mean people, think railroads, cars, airplanes...its all about distubution and reliance upon it by the consumer! WE ARE ALREADY THAT COMPANY! Digital distribution is our entire ereader/video future!!! Get the DX out there now! Give the darn things away!! Upgrade to newer cooler, sexier and simplier models!!! Come on now....ok, Im going back to my other job.........Apple has some new discount and freebie deals that I have to learn........call me if you need me. But please, we are a great company....dont let the ship sail.....
Amazonian Uno: The nautical motif notwithstanding, Im feeling rather grounded with the kindle price cut....
THE GROUP SMILES WITHOUT KNOWING WHY.
THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN.............
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